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Different mood swings

Posted by Joy On 5:08 AM 0 comments

So what are these mood swings..?
Why so many different mood swings..?

From anger to sadness..from happiness to excitement to completely being dead..

There must be some explanation somewhere..until I find the explanation..I'll keep wandering these dark moods and happy times..

I watched this nice romantic comedy..Silver Linings Playbook..a great watch..must say..much better than those stupid non funny hollywood crap..gave me something to think about..could have been a bit better though..well but that goes for everything doesn't it?..could have..would have..ifs and buts..
Anyways it lifted my mood up..started thinking positive after a series of bad thoughts and mood swings..but then..a song completely changed it back to that angry frustrated me. Right now my mood is hanging between..all that anger and trying to find a bit of peace..

*Rime of the ancient mariner playing in the background*..this isn't the song I was talking about though..This shit's awesome..

Anyways it's back to that vicious circle that I usually talk about and all those mood swings did leave me for a while (2 hours) but they are back again..hence this post..

Anyways hope tomorrow is a new day..Until next time.

So you sometimes wonder why everything is so confusing.
Why nothing makes sense. And when you think of such things, hell no!..it's the start of another vicious circle.
A circle that will not end..it will never end. Really?..Then why do they say that nothing is permanent?
You thought you couldn't do this and that but then you finally did it.. Didn't you? Was is so easy? HELL NO!!
But in the end you were able to do it..you did it..in the end..

So why are you so confused?
I know things don't make sense right now but they will...yes they always do..
Do they?Always?Really?
Err I'm not a philosopher so I don't know the answer to this question, sorry, but for now you have to think that they will. Yes they bloody will!

Because.. You weren't born to be weak..were you?
                 You have that strength within you..That inner strength that will take you to greatness..in                       your own way..you didn't come into this world to seek greatness in this world ..you have                     to be great in your own right way..Greatness that gives you satisfaction and the will to                        fight.. every time you fall..you get up again and fight!..yes fight your demons..NOW!

You will not..will NOT let things get the better of you..They have in the past, yes, but ha! not this time. It's the rise of the better, bigger, stronger you. Greatness is around the corner..you just have to reach there..Will it be easy..?..No.. but to hell with it..you will get there eventually because you're so damn inspired while writing this that you will...get there..

Random Thoughts

Posted by Joy On 7:07 PM 0 comments

Here in the darkness you lay..melancholy surrounds you..for the one timid moment that seemed less nervous and less frightening..alas that moment was not to be.

You dream about disappearing, about a far away land where you'll finally find some solace and peace..but that dream had to be shattered into pieces.

Darkness is your home..and home is the place to be...to rest, to lay down, to be content and to be fulfilling and fighting your inner apprehensions..yes..you're home..but are you really?

For all these thoughts remain etched in your mind..but for how long?

How long will you keep fighting the demons in your head?
How long will you keep singing the same old song?
How long will you keep making the same old mistakes?

That's the question that begs to be answered this time.

So, while answering these questions, stuff starts to flash across your mind..the laughs, the incredibly soothing and peaceful times, the merry making and a few poetic lines.....

Will you leave the darkness this one time? Your friend 'melancholy' shouts to you.."Don't leave me!"

But you will..yes you will..for you live in a damn society where darkness and your friend don't fit in..they simply don't!

This is reality..People might be somewhere else..someone else..but you are still here..That's not fair you scream..You'll be back..the world will see the incredible strength within you and you will prove to them that you are who you are!...you are what you were meant to be! and...

So is it time to leave the darkness once and for all?..once and for all?..are you sure?..

No you're not..even I'm not...so let's leave it at that and enjoy the reality that you finally..are..able..to..breathe.....

Music = life

Posted by Joy On 10:14 PM 0 comments

In my music collection there's a song for almost every mood, every situation, almost anything you can think of.. Be it good or bad...from the most sad or depressing to the most happiest songs (most of them rock or metal)..it's all there and that is the reason why I love music so much..

Music's always been there..in my happy times and in my bad times...
Music feeds my soul..

From the heaviness of Slayer to the sometimes chaotic and sometimes soothing Opeth..
From the awesomeness of Iron Maiden to Mr Alexi Laiho..Children of Bodom..
From the female fronted Arch Enemy to the anger and sadness in Three Days Grace..I love it all

Well, let's admit it..Life's tough sometimes..more so for some of us because of our thinking that goes for a hell ride sometimes..it actually is difficult to describe life without music..atleast mine..

Enough for now..See ya

Stuff in my room

Posted by Joy On 1:59 AM 0 comments

Nothing better to do..I thought I'd post something :)..Well I'm a computer buff so I'll just post my pc specs and some of the stuff I have in my room (see, I said I have nothing better to do)..

My computer specs

Processor       - Intel i5 3570k (no overclocking...as yet)
Motherboard - MSI Z77A-G41 (Not great I know, but was getting it cheap bundled with the processor)
RAM              - 8 gb Corsair ddr3
Graphics       - AMD 6850 ddr5 1gb
HDD              - Samsung 840 128gb ssd (using an old 250gb alongwith it because both my other hard                                                                                   drives crashed..poor me)
PSU               - Corsair VX550
Cabinet         -  Using an old Cooler Master Elite 330..Want to buy a new one..have my eyes on the  
                        NZXT Guardian 921RB.
Monitor        -  Dell 2030 20 inch plus Samsung c530 32 inch tv hooked to my pc

My Music stuff  

DAC              - Nuforce udac
Amp              - NAD c 326bee
Speakers       - PSB alpha B1
Headphones - Audio Technica Ath m50
Mp3 player  - Cowon iAudio 9 and sansa clipzip

Ya i have some more stuff as well like books which are very hard to find..lol

Random poem

Posted by Joy On 1:06 AM 0 comments

As I sit here writing in the dark...I wonder about the people who left their mark..on me as well as my thoughts...their presence made life beautiful and sometimes brought distraught.........

People have been nice..some haven't been right...but lucky I am to have found such buddies...who have made me a hell lot steady.

So I thank all from the bottom of my heart...a hug from me as a reward ...for you all have been stars...that have shone in my life much brighter than venus and mars 

A short poem I wrote off the top of my head on facebook a while back..for my friends..

What Makes Me Happy

Posted by Joy On 2:15 AM 0 comments

Well all I've been writing down has been your usual depressing stuff eh..nor that it matters really does it?..Maybe someday it will..Till then I'll keep writing shit down..why? don't know why..anyways I was talking about the depressing stuff. For a change I thought I might write something about being happy and stuff like that..They say change is a must..So let's try.

So let me write down the things that make me happy..Well sometimes lots of things and sometimes nothing at all..Happens to all of us doesn't it..Enough! Let's start..
    PEOPLE AROUND ME - I have such wonderful people around me be it my parents, family  members,      friends, online friends.. I mean its quite amazing the support you get from them or guess I'm one of the lucky  ones..talking, chatting to them and just that you know that they're there for you makes me happy..
    MUSIC - Just knowing that I have something to fall back upon when things don't go my way or when I'm down in the dumps..Music's always been there..Doesn't matter what the situation is..what the circumstances are..just blast those speakers or headphones with your favorite music and its all gonna be okay :)

    BEING NICE - Being nice and helping others just makes me feel good..

    THE TIME FACTOR - I know I have lots of free time. Well it can work out either ways as in it can be a bad thing but  I do have all the time in the world to do stuff I like..

    DOING THE STUFF I LIKE - Watching movies, playing games, buying new stuff(computer or music related stuff), roaming around with friends or family and just being around people I like makes me happy..

    THE LUCK FACTOR - Well I've been really lucky in life to have really almost everything I need..

    If I write more it'll become more of an essay so I'll leave it at that for now..If you do manage to read the post kindly comment the things that make you happy..thanks!

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