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Different mood swings

Posted by Joy On 5:08 AM 0 comments

So what are these mood swings..?
Why so many different mood swings..?

From anger to sadness..from happiness to excitement to completely being dead..

There must be some explanation somewhere..until I find the explanation..I'll keep wandering these dark moods and happy times..

I watched this nice romantic comedy..Silver Linings Playbook..a great watch..must say..much better than those stupid non funny hollywood crap..gave me something to think about..could have been a bit better though..well but that goes for everything doesn't it?..could have..would have..ifs and buts..
Anyways it lifted my mood up..started thinking positive after a series of bad thoughts and mood swings..but then..a song completely changed it back to that angry frustrated me. Right now my mood is hanging between..all that anger and trying to find a bit of peace..

*Rime of the ancient mariner playing in the background*..this isn't the song I was talking about though..This shit's awesome..

Anyways it's back to that vicious circle that I usually talk about and all those mood swings did leave me for a while (2 hours) but they are back again..hence this post..

Anyways hope tomorrow is a new day..Until next time.

So you sometimes wonder why everything is so confusing.
Why nothing makes sense. And when you think of such things, hell no!..it's the start of another vicious circle.
A circle that will not end..it will never end. Really?..Then why do they say that nothing is permanent?
You thought you couldn't do this and that but then you finally did it.. Didn't you? Was is so easy? HELL NO!!
But in the end you were able to do it..you did it..in the end..

So why are you so confused?
I know things don't make sense right now but they will...yes they always do..
Do they?Always?Really?
Err I'm not a philosopher so I don't know the answer to this question, sorry, but for now you have to think that they will. Yes they bloody will!

Because.. You weren't born to be weak..were you?
                 You have that strength within you..That inner strength that will take you to greatness..in                       your own way..you didn't come into this world to seek greatness in this world ..you have                     to be great in your own right way..Greatness that gives you satisfaction and the will to                        fight.. every time you fall..you get up again and fight!..yes fight your demons..NOW!

You will not..will NOT let things get the better of you..They have in the past, yes, but ha! not this time. It's the rise of the better, bigger, stronger you. Greatness is around the corner..you just have to reach there..Will it be easy..?..No.. but to hell with it..you will get there eventually because you're so damn inspired while writing this that you will...get there..

Random Thoughts

Posted by Joy On 7:07 PM 0 comments

Here in the darkness you lay..melancholy surrounds you..for the one timid moment that seemed less nervous and less frightening..alas that moment was not to be.

You dream about disappearing, about a far away land where you'll finally find some solace and peace..but that dream had to be shattered into pieces.

Darkness is your home..and home is the place to be...to rest, to lay down, to be content and to be fulfilling and fighting your inner apprehensions..yes..you're home..but are you really?

For all these thoughts remain etched in your mind..but for how long?

How long will you keep fighting the demons in your head?
How long will you keep singing the same old song?
How long will you keep making the same old mistakes?

That's the question that begs to be answered this time.

So, while answering these questions, stuff starts to flash across your mind..the laughs, the incredibly soothing and peaceful times, the merry making and a few poetic lines.....

Will you leave the darkness this one time? Your friend 'melancholy' shouts to you.."Don't leave me!"

But you will..yes you will..for you live in a damn society where darkness and your friend don't fit in..they simply don't!

This is reality..People might be somewhere else..someone else..but you are still here..That's not fair you scream..You'll be back..the world will see the incredible strength within you and you will prove to them that you are who you are!...you are what you were meant to be! and...

So is it time to leave the darkness once and for all?..once and for all?..are you sure?..

No you're not..even I'm not...so let's leave it at that and enjoy the reality that you finally..are..able..to..breathe.....

Music = life

Posted by Joy On 10:14 PM 0 comments

In my music collection there's a song for almost every mood, every situation, almost anything you can think of.. Be it good or bad...from the most sad or depressing to the most happiest songs (most of them rock or metal)..it's all there and that is the reason why I love music so much..

Music's always been there..in my happy times and in my bad times...
Music feeds my soul..

From the heaviness of Slayer to the sometimes chaotic and sometimes soothing Opeth..
From the awesomeness of Iron Maiden to Mr Alexi Laiho..Children of Bodom..
From the female fronted Arch Enemy to the anger and sadness in Three Days Grace..I love it all

Well, let's admit it..Life's tough sometimes..more so for some of us because of our thinking that goes for a hell ride sometimes..it actually is difficult to describe life without music..atleast mine..

Enough for now..See ya

Sad Depressing Metal songs..These songs can make you sad, angry, tearful and can also sooth you, uplift you.. So I am back with another list..another depressing list..This time, again, its about metal. I present to you some of the most depressing metal songs (in my opinion, ofcourse). This is the second depressing metal song list I am making.. The first one is here..Sad Depressing metal songs part 1

So here we go..hope you like it..

Red Water (Christmas Mourning) - Type O Negative
"Wake up, it's christmas mourn 
Those loved have long since gone 
The stocking are hung but who cares 
Preserved for those no longer there 
Six feet beneath me sleep 
Black lights hang from the tree 
Accents of dead holly 
Whoa mistletoe 
(it's growing cold) 
I'm seeing ghost 
(I'm drinking old) 
Red water 
Red water 
Red water chase them away "

Christmas is around the corner. Try playing this on christmas eh..This is my favorite song on the list..Everything from the beginning of the song.. to the little girl crying in the middle..to the end is absolutely beautiful and a must in my list..Ah those vocals by their frontman Peter Steele (R.I.P) fit perfectly in this song and makes it a wonderful depressing song.

Darkness Within - Machine Head 
"Here in the darkness that I lay
Depression heavy in its weigh
And how my body aches to leave
To sing its final eulogy
My sons I love you evermore

And though the road beckons once more
I see the damage that I've done
In search for redemption
But I am just a broken man
Whose souls cries out to understand
How the madness shatters me
Upon the stage on bended knee
I scream out loud at skies above
That answer mute bereft in love
I struggle not to fall from grace
Or sing the hymns of my disgrace

We Build Cathredrals to our pain
Establish monuments to attain
Freedom from all of the scars and the sins
Lest we drown in the darkness within"

A great song by Machine head from their album 'Unto the Locust'..MUSIC MY SAVIOR SAVE ME..Absolutely agree with these lines..Awesome band..Awesome song.

Snuff - Slipknot

"Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again
So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I can't destroy what isn't there"

"I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
Ooh, my own was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go
So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know
If you still care don't ever let me know"

Slipknot isn't known for these kind of songs..sounds more like Stone Sour but I'm glad they decided to go through with this as its a beautiful song..The vocals by Corey Taylor are simply amazing.

Voice of the soul - Death

An instrumental on this list..well, yes this is a MUST in this list as it is a really awesome and sorrowful tune..Give it a listen..you won't be disappointed.

Sleepless swans - Swallow the sun

"Too late to leave, blinded by the last night
Too far, too late, too deep
To escape from the hands of this night
Winter has our hearts, it finally tore us apart

The cries of loss, ripping wings
We are frozen on the lake
So close to watch her die
But too far to leave together
This tomb of ice finally ripped us apart
We are sleepless swans, frozen on the lake

Lay down your eyes, blinded by the last night
The sun won't light them any longer
The deeper the dark, the clearer we see
Escaping death only made it stronger"

Swallow the Sun  is a Finnish death/doom metal band. Not very well known. I already have too many famous bands on this list so this is a refreshing change..This song is amazing.

Eternal Tears of Sorrow - The River Flows Frozen

"Like frozen leaves
We are falling
On to the soil so barren and cold
The rays of sun
No more warming
Our hearts now so cold
Through this field
Of the withered flowers
We go still one more time
The hidden beauty
Forever gone
The river's frozen once again

So came this time
When moonlight blackened my heart:
I can't stand this pain
The chain is broken
It's tearing open my scars:
I want to feel the flame...again"

Crown of Sympathy - My Dying Bride

"See the light and feel my warm desire, run through my veins like the evening sun.
It will live but no eyes will see it.
I'll bless your name before I die.
No person in everything can shine, yet shine you did, for the world to see.

All a man hath will he give for life?
For life that's lost bleeds all over me.
I'd fallen before but it never hurt like this.
Don't leave me here to crawl through the mire."

A depressing metal song list can't be complete without a song by My Dying Bride.

Well That is it for now.. I have many more depressing metal songs with me..Maybe I'll make another list sometime soon..Here is part 1 Sad Depressing metal songs part 1

Stuff in my room

Posted by Joy On 1:59 AM 0 comments

Nothing better to do..I thought I'd post something :)..Well I'm a computer buff so I'll just post my pc specs and some of the stuff I have in my room (see, I said I have nothing better to do)..

My computer specs

Processor       - Intel i5 3570k (no overclocking...as yet)
Motherboard - MSI Z77A-G41 (Not great I know, but was getting it cheap bundled with the processor)
RAM              - 8 gb Corsair ddr3
Graphics       - AMD 6850 ddr5 1gb
HDD              - Samsung 840 128gb ssd (using an old 250gb alongwith it because both my other hard                                                                                   drives crashed..poor me)
PSU               - Corsair VX550
Cabinet         -  Using an old Cooler Master Elite 330..Want to buy a new one..have my eyes on the  
                        NZXT Guardian 921RB.
Monitor        -  Dell 2030 20 inch plus Samsung c530 32 inch tv hooked to my pc

My Music stuff  

DAC              - Nuforce udac
Amp              - NAD c 326bee
Speakers       - PSB alpha B1
Headphones - Audio Technica Ath m50
Mp3 player  - Cowon iAudio 9 and sansa clipzip

Ya i have some more stuff as well like books which are very hard to find..lol

Random poem

Posted by Joy On 1:06 AM 0 comments

As I sit here writing in the dark...I wonder about the people who left their mark..on me as well as my thoughts...their presence made life beautiful and sometimes brought distraught.........

People have been nice..some haven't been right...but lucky I am to have found such buddies...who have made me a hell lot steady.

So I thank all from the bottom of my heart...a hug from me as a reward ...for you all have been stars...that have shone in my life much brighter than venus and mars 

A short poem I wrote off the top of my head on facebook a while back..for my friends..

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